


weirder than e.t

by Freezeurbrain



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Aliens, Bickering, Conspiracy Theories, Platonic Male/Male Relationships, So much bickering, be more quarantine, criminal activity, estranged friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:49:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23383309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Freezeurbrain/pseuds/Freezeurbrain
Summary: Rich hasn’t seen Jake in three months, but suddenly, his best friend shows up at his door asking for help.
Relationships: Jake Dillinger & Rich Goranski
Comments: 4
Kudos: 9





	weirder than e.t

“Will you explain to me what’s going on, please?” 

Jake turned his head to look at Rich, which caused his friend to glare at him. 

“Jesus Christ, keep your eyes on the road, Jake!” 

“Sorry.” Jake turned his head again, and Rich let out a sigh.

“I’m just... what the _hell_ is happening? You drop off the face of the Earth for three months, no warning, no notice, not so much as a phone call, and then you show up at my front door telling me you stole a fancy watch?”

“It’s a long story-“

“Well, I’m not going anywhere, am I?” Rich gestured angrily to the car he was sitting in- a silver car, nicer than anything he or Jake could ever afford. “Where’d you even get this car? It’s not yours.”

“I... borrowed it.” Jake bit his lip. “Without permission.”

“You _stole a car_?” Rich’s eyes widened. “First a watch, then you steal a whole-ass car? Since when did you become a thief?”

“Okay, first of all, the watch is actually worth more than the car.” That had sounded different in Jake’s head, but now he realized it didn’t help his case. “Second of all, I’m not a thief. I’m just... really good at acquiring stuff that isn’t mine.” 

“Okay, then _why_ did you steal the watch and the car?” Rich snapped. “I have a lot of questions, Jake.” 

“I’ll get to that.” 

“You’ll get to it?! What have you been doing these past three months? Because I went to your apartment and instead of you, this lady answered the door and told me ‘No, I don’t know a Jake Dillinger, I’ve lived here for six months’.”

“That would be Christine.” 

“Christine- who the hell is Christine?”

“My friend. Coworker. Friend and coworker.” 

“Why is your coworker saying she lived in your apartment for six months?”

“Because...” Jake inhaled sharply. “Because I asked her to.” 

“You asked her to?” Rich looked even more confused, and rightfully so. 

“I couldn’t really stay there any longer. I was being stalked.”

“Oh, here we go again.” Rich threw his hands up as far as he could within the limitations of the car roof. “Is this really just another one of your crazy conspiracy theories?”

“No, Rich, this is serious.” Jake said. “As in, legitimately dangerous people were stalking me and I didn’t feel safe in my apartment anymore.”

“Then you should have called the goddamn police, not stolen a watch and a car! What’s gotten into you?” Rich said, like a parent disciplining a young child. 

“I can explain.” Jake said hurriedly.

“You better.” Rich crossed his arms. 

“All right. It really all started the night you left my apartment.”

***

Jake didn’t start his evening thinking he’d never go back to his apartment. He just wanted to chill out, maybe play some Minecraft on his Xbox until the ungodly hours of the morning. He didn’t want to get a _rock_ thrown at his god damn window.

The rock on its own wasn’t the scary part. He lived in the big city, for Christ’s sake. Birds and shit bumped into his window all the time. No, the scary thing was when he got up from the couch, looked down to see what had just hit his window, and seen three words scratched into a rock. 

_Watch your back_.

And that might as well have been the moment where it all went downhill. Because suddenly, from that night on, Jake had begun to notice weird people hanging around his apartment complex. A man had knocked on his door, claiming to be an insurance salesman, but he couldn’t consistently say which company he represented. A woman stood out in the alley that Jake’s living room window overlooked, smoking a cigarette, staring up at Jake’s apartment and Jake’s apartment only. And, perhaps most chillingly, a man would loiter by the front doors and only start moving once Jake left the building to get to work. 

He thought about calling the police. But what evidence did he have that couldn’t be chalked up to some strange coincidences and a prankster throwing a rock at his window? The police would most likely just say, _Sorry, bud, nothing we can do._

He thought about telling Rich. But Rich already thought Jake was crazy enough _without_ the added weight of _oh yeah, and since I shared my latest conspiracy theory with you, I’m being stalked_. That would probably be enough for Rich to hang up the phone and never talk to Jake again. 

So there was really only one other choice- to get out of his apartment. But where was he going to go? He didn’t have a car, unless he felt like taking the risk of being murdered and getting an Uber. 

It didn’t matter. He’d figure that out when he got to it. For now, he needed it to be as if Jake Dillinger hadn’t even lived in apartment 302. Which turned out to be a lot easier than he thought. All it took to accomplish that step in the plan was a call to his coworker Christine saying he was going out of town and needed her to stay at his apartment for him. He told her to pretend the apartment was hers if anyone asked, which may have been pushing the boundaries of suspicion just a little bit, but Christine didn’t ask any questions.

So then there was the question of getting out of the city. Which was, regrettably, how the “stealing a car” bit came into play. Jake was able to put aside his morals for that step, ignoring that he may very well have just ruined someone’s life. Instead, he focused on the task at hand - getting out of the freaking city. Which he did.

***

“Okay...” Rich looked blindsided by that information dump, and he seemed to take a second to process it all. “But how did you decide _oh, I’m gonna steal a watch_?” 

Jake sighed. “Do you remember what I told you the night you last saw me?”

“Your theory about eclipses?”

“Yes. The theory about them being tools for mass destruction.” 

“Oh, yeah. That’s the one that made me leave in a huff, calling you crazy, because it absolutely _is_ crazy.” Rich said.

Ignoring the dig at his sanity, Jake reached into his bag and pulled out the watch in question. It was fancy, with a black leather band, a gold metal ring around the watch face. The face of the watch was silver, and the words “ _A. Lange and Söhne_ ” had been engraved into the metal. Whoever owned this watch had obviously paid a generous sum of money for it. However, Jake hadn’t taken it out to marvel at it. He’d taken it out for a very specific reason. He turned the watch over so the back was exposed, and, like he knew what he was doing, he began to remove the metal panel covering the back. 

Rich’s eyes widened, probably in shock at Jake dismantling the expensive watch he had stolen. Stealing and vandalism? What an impression to make after you hadn’t seen your friend for three months. “What are you-“ 

“Here.” Jake pulled something out of the back of the watch- a purple crystal. Even though he had seen it once before, his breath still caught in his throat when he saw it. The material was unlike anything Jake had ever seen- translucent, with a strange glow in the center that didn’t move no matter where the gem was positioned- like a miniature nebula, suspended in the middle of a strange purple crystal. It had an alien, otherworldly aura around it, like it had come from someplace else. Someplace that wasn’t Earth. 

Rich’s jaw dropped as he examined the crystal. For a moment, he seemed utterly speechless. Finally, he spoke again. “What is that?”

“I really don’t know.” Jake said. “But a few weeks after I left the city, those people caught up to me at a gas station. I hid from them, but I heard them talking about that crystal. They mentioned something about how they were _running out of time_ and how they needed to use it when the eclipse happened. And then one of the guys took the crystal out of his watch.”

“So you decided to steal this guy’s watch?” Rich asked. “Oh my God, you really are crazy.”

“No, Rich. Look, do you remember when the next total solar eclipse in the United States is?”

“No. Why would I need to know that?” Rich spoke as if the answer to the question was obvious.

“It’s today. At exactly noon.” 

“And...?” 

Jake sighed. “Do you know what happens during eclipses?”

“The sun gets covered up by the moon.” Rich said.

“Besides that.”

“No.” Rich shook his head. Prompted by Jake’s judgmental look he narrowed his eyes. “Sorry I didn’t pay perfect attention in seventh-grade science class!”

“Okay, so, during solar eclipses, there’s a moment where, right before totality, when the sun is completely covered by the moon, you can see where the sun is peeking out from behind the moon. Because the moon’s surface is full of holes and craters-“ 

“We all know the moon is made of cheese.” Rich said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. He glared at Jake, clearly making a dig at his estranged friend.

“That is a ridiculous theory that I do _not_ believe, but that’s besides the point. Anyway, because the moon’s surface is so rough and uneven, these beads of light shine through the gaps and create what’s called the diamond ring effect.” 

“Wow, I have truly been enlightened today. Don’t know how I would have survived without that crucial piece of knowledge.”

“Okay, I could really do without the sarcasm.” Jake snapped.

“Oh, is my _sarcasm_ throwing you off? I’m sorry. I wasn’t aware that you were cool with sharing crazy conspiracy theories, but _sarcasm_ was where you drew the line in the sand.” Rich sat up as if trying to be on Jake’s level, height-wise. His attempt was not successful.

“Will you let me finish?” Jake asked. “I think that... thing has something to do with the eclipse. And I think we need to destroy it before those people can use it.”

“Use it for what?” Rich asked. “To make a death ray and destroy the world? You’re acting like they’re goddamn Captain Planet villains, for God’s sake.”

“Well, would _you_ like to see what this thing can do?” Jake held the crystal out to Rich. “I didn’t bring you here to make you believe me. I brought you because you’re the person I thought could help.”

“You...” Rich cut himself off mid-sentence with a sigh. “I care about you, Jake. Okay? And I really don’t want you ruining your life for the sake of some flimsy conspiracy.”

“I’m not ruining my life.” Jake said. “No one even knows I stole this stuff, besides those people. And I don’t think they’re the type to go ask the police for help.”

“Jake, I really don’t think-“

Rich was cut off when something slammed into the side of the car, with enough force to send it clear into the next lane. Both Rich and Jake were momentarily frozen in shock as the car’s tires squealed painfully against the asphalt, no doubt leaving serious skid marks on the road.

“What was that?” Rich looked around, as if to spot whatever was responsible for the impact.   
He didn’t have to look around for long. His eyes widened when, on the side of the road opposite to them, he spotted a woman standing there, unaffected by what had just occurred in front of her, with her arms crossed. The most frightening thing about her wasn’t the authoritative way she stood, or the glare of pure anger and hatred that she had on her face.

The scariest thing about this woman was the lavender wings, glowing with the same kind of light as the crystal, that sprung from her shoulder blades.


End file.
